The Complexities of Female Friendship

Chanel's friendships with women were marked by intensity and impermanence. She could form passionate attachments that resembled love affairs in their emotional intensity, but these relationships rarely survived success or challenge. The pattern suggested someone who craved female companionship but feared the vulnerability it required.

Her longest-lasting female friendship was with Misia Sert, a patron of the arts and social connector. For decades, Misia was Chanel's closest confidante, the recipient of late-night phone calls and extravagant gifts. Yet even this relationship was marked by competition and betrayal. When Misia's husband left her for a younger woman, Chanel befriended the rival, a betrayal Misia never fully forgave.

With younger women, Chanel could be both generous mentor and harsh critic. She would identify talented young women, offer them positions, share knowledge, then turn on them for reasons that seemed arbitrary. This pattern—attraction, mentorship, rejection—repeated throughout her life. It suggested someone who wanted to pass on her knowledge but couldn't tolerate potential succession.

The absence of lasting female friendships in Chanel's life stands out particularly given her professional focus on women. She designed for women, employed thousands of women, made her fortune from women's desires, yet struggled to maintain personal connections with them. This disconnect between professional success and personal isolation marked one of the central tragedies of her life.