Home Dining Etiquette
The Invitation Honor
Being invited to dine in a French home represents significant trust and friendship. These occasions demand your best manners.
Pre-Arrival Preparation: - Confirm dietary restrictions days before - Plan appropriate gift (see Chapter 2) - Dress nicely—casual doesn't mean sloppy - Eat lightly beforehand—meals last hours - Prepare conversation topics
Arrival and Aperitif
Timing: - Arrive 10-15 minutes late (le quart d'heure) - Never early—hosts need preparation time - Call if more than 20 minutes late
Aperitif Hour: - Accept offered drink (refusal seems rude) - "Juste un doigt" for small amount - Nurse drink slowly—it's not happy hour - Light snacks only—don't fill up - Focus on conversation
The Meal Progression
French home meals follow predictable patterns:
1. Entrée (Starter): - Often soup, salad, or charcuterie - Eat everything if possible - Compliment genuinely
2. Plat Principal (Main): - The centerpiece—show appreciation - Seconds offered means success - Leave clean plate to show enjoyment
3. Salade (Sometimes): - May follow main course - Cleanses palate
4. Fromage (Cheese Course): - Never cut nose off soft cheese - Take small portions - Try varieties offered - Eat with bread, sometimes knife/fork
5. Dessert: - Always leave room - Homemade deserves special praise - Coffee after, not with
Cultural Context Box: The Cheese Course
The French cheese course has rules. Cut round cheeses in triangles like cake. For wedges, cut parallel to the rind, never the nose. For blue cheese, ensure everyone gets some veining. Take moderate portions—cheese returns for seconds.Table Conversation
Appropriate Topics: - The meal itself (highest compliment) - Cultural activities - Travel experiences - Current events (if well-informed) - Philosophy and ideas - Regional differences
Topics to Avoid: - Money and salaries - Religion (unless others initiate) - Personal health details - Work stress - Relationship problems - Diet talk while eating
Post-Meal Etiquette
After Dinner: - Offer to help clear (usually refused) - Move to living room for coffee/digestif - Don't rush to leave - Stay minimum 30-45 minutes after meal - Thank hosts warmly when departing - Follow up with thank you next day